


Banished

by kittenofdoomage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-12-28 11:35:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21136058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofdoomage/pseuds/kittenofdoomage
Summary: Dean finds an unlikely savior after Castiel disappears in Purgatory, and, an unlikely connection.





	1. Chapter 1

“Stay back!”

The darkness made it hard to see but you kept pressing forward, aware the man was armed with little more than a stick. Holding your hands up, you approached slowly. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” you said steadily, trying not to let the things watching from shadows intimidate you.

“Right,” the man drawled, narrowing his eyes.

“What’s your name?” He seemed a little confused by the question; you smiled, lowering your hands. “I’m Y/N.”

“Dean,” he mumbled, his attention darting around the small clearing. In the darkness, the trees seemed thicker, more filled with danger. Most of the creatures lurking weren’t stupid enough to try and fight with you.

“You know where you are?”

He shrugged. “Purgatory, I guess.”

You nodded. “Yeah. And right now, there’s a whole bunch of evil things lurking in the shadows that would love nothing more than to chow down on your fragile human body.” Dean seemed a little more panicked at that and he looked around again. “So it might be a good idea if you follow me -”

“What, so you can eat me instead?”

The question threw you off and you scrunched up your nose in disgust. “What? No!”

“Look, lady, as far as I know, this isn’t a human-friendly place.” He was agitated now, waiting for the attack. “So what the hell are you and why are you trying to help me?”

“Trying’s the word,” you grunted, shaking your head. “No, I’m not human. And I’m not one of them either.”

“Then what the hell are you?” he demanded.

Sighing heavily, you let your shoulders drop. It wasn’t an easy feat but he wasn’t about to believe you without proof. He couldn’t know that assembling molecules that weren’t meant for this plane of existence was a terribly taxing display on your behalf.

That didn’t mean his face wasn’t worth it when your thick downy wings spread out either side of your body. He’d probably never seen proper angel wings - Earth only allowed for the glorified light show and shadows. It was hard to manifest them in Purgatory but not impossible.

“An angel?” he whispered, a small crease appearing between his eyebrows. “Why don’t you just -” Holding his hand up, he clicked.

You smiled. “That’s adorable but I’m not an angel. My parents were.”

Dean’s face twisted. “What?”

“Look, I’ve got a copy of my autobiography back at my place,” you tossed out casually, spotting a werewolf prowling in the growing fog. “You can have all the information you want once we’re out of eating range.”

“Why are you helping me?”

Rolling your eyes, you turned on your heel. “Fine. Stand there and ask questions all night. I’m sure Rodney the famished werewolf would love to give you a run down as he’s eating your spleen.” Your feet crunched through the leaves and for a minute, you thought he’d be stupid enough to stay. When you heard the second set of crunching footsteps, you smiled, slowing down so he could catch up.

“Your wings are gone,” he commented.

“Can’t keep ‘em out all the time,” you quipped. “Makes all the other girls jealous.”

Dean snorted, rushing to keep pace with you. “You’re funny.”

“You’d be surprised how much time I have to work on my witty repertoire.”

His next question was on the tip of his tongue but you weren’t about to answer anything. The werewolf that had been prowling the clearing was stalking you through the trees, obviously not giving up the hope of a fresh human meal. Dean glanced back, aware of the tail.

“Keep going,” you hissed. “If he comes any closer, I’ll take care of it.”

“With what?” he whispered back. “Neither of us have any weapons.”

You flashed him a smile. “That’s what you think.” Producing a roughly carved angel blade made of black stone made him laugh under his breath.

“Wasn’t gonna hurt me, huh?”

“Depended on how much of an asshole you were.” Hearing the wolf gain ground made you pick up the pace. “This way.” You turned abruptly, hoping Dean could keep up. He did, managing not to lose his footing as the ground dropped steeply. When you grabbed him and pushed him against the rock wall lining the path, he reacted for only a second before realizing your intentions.

You stepped back, blade in one hand. The werewolf was prowling in the darkness, probably better able to see than any human could but the thick fog lessened his advantage. Crouching low, you moved toward the creature, almost on him before he noticed you were there.

He didn’t make much noise as he died, the blade plunged through his throat, severing his vocal cords and preventing any screams. You held him for a second, letting him drop into a silent heap on the floor, blood pumping out onto the muddied path.

“We need to go. The blood will attract more.” Sheathing the blade, you grabbed Dean’s hand, tugging him back the way you’d come. He was dumbstruck, following without question and you didn’t stop, keeping at a jog until you reached the cliffside that hid your home.

It took angelic strength to move the boulder blocking the entrance, which was part of what made it so secure. There weren’t many things in Purgatory that could match you for physical prowess - your only worry was if any angels decided to drop in.

Dean didn’t argue when you told him to get inside and you checked your surroundings briefly. His presence here was like a siren to predators but hopefully, you’d be able to fend them off. Pulling the rock back across the entrance, you slipped into the cave, almost walking right into Dean in the darkness.

“Got a light?” he joked.

You pushed him back, reaching for the lantern on the floor. With a quick flick of your finger, it was lit, and Dean blinked in the sudden light.

“Handy trick,” he murmured. “Never seen Cas do anything like that.”

“Parlor tricks,” you replied, taking hold of his hand. He jumped at the contact, making you giggle. “Don’t you hold hands with girls, Dean? Come on, you need to watch your footing.”

The cave opened up after a few feet into a wide cavern. At one end, there was a lake of pitch-black water, surrounded by jagged rocks. Above their heads, crystals embedded in stalactites reflected the light of the lantern. Dean gaped at the almost other-wordly quality of the place.

“What is this?” he asked, looking down at the sand and stone under his feet.

“A corner where I hide,” you replied, releasing his hand but continuing across the cavern where the floor evened out and your shelter waited. Without looking back, you slipped into the crude lean-to, dropping onto your bed.

You’d been sleeping before Dean’s arrival had summoned you like every other creepy thing in this dimension.

“This is amazing,” Dean murmured, loud enough for you to hear.

“Oh yeah,” you called. “It’s a real home away from home.”

He chuckled, finally following you into the tiny wooden structure. “How long have you been here?”

You shrugged. “What year is it? In the real world?”

“2012.”

The math was easy. “Thirty years,” you whispered, unable to believe how small a number it was. “It feels so much longer.” Your makeshift bed creaked as he sat down beside you. “Like… decades longer.”

“How are you here?” he asked. “I didn’t think angels -”

“I’m not an angel,” you corrected, looking over at him. It was hard not to lean against him, to feel contact that you’d been denied for so long. “Not completely.”

“I’m gonna need that autobiography,” he joked.

Stretching back on the bed, you folded your hands behind your head, exhaling softly. “My parents were both angels. There isn’t really a term for me beyond nephilim. I was… am, the only one I know of.” You kept your eyes on the ceiling as you spoke, not brave enough to look at him. This man was a stranger, one you knew nothing about, least of all how he’d ended up in Purgatory.

“So where are your folks?”

“Dead,” you answered bluntly. “How’d you get here anyway?”

Dean shifted, chuckling. “Standing too close to exploding Dick.” He paused as you stared at him, realizing that you wouldn’t actually get the joke. “It’s kinda a long story but I’m a hunter and there was this Leviathan guy -”

You shuddered. “I hate those things. Hard as hell to kill.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me. We took out the head roach and… that’s how I ended up here. I guess the magic that we used sucked me into Purgatory along with Dick. Not that I saw anything when I landed. I think Cas was with me but -

“You mentioned him before.”

Raising an eyebrow in your direction, Dean shrugged. “He’s an angel.”

You frowned. “An angel?”

“Yeah. I’m sure he was here but -” He shook his head, clasping his hands together in his lap. “I dunno. I feel like I haven’t slept for months. This place is weird.”

“It only gets weirder. This dimension is like stasis. You won’t need to eat, sleep, anything except survive. If you die in here…” You fell quiet, letting your point make its own way across. Dean swallowed, nodding as you sat up. “There might be a way we can get you home. But we can’t do anything until daylight.”

“What do we do in the meantime?”

“Well, I’m gonna have a nap,” you announced. “Just because you don’t  _ need _ to sleep, doesn’t mean you can’t, and tiredness? Still a thing. So rest up. It’s a hell of a walk to get out of this place.”

*****

He didn’t trust you, no matter how at ease he seemed. When he hadn’t been able to sleep, he’d bugged you and you’d given up entirely on the thought of sleeping. Dean was a hunter and while there were questions to be answered, he wasn’t going to rest.

At least you could find out a little more about him and how he’d ended up fighting Leviathans.

“So, Dean. What’s the world like since 1982?”

You’d wandered down to the edge of the lake, keeping a distance from the murky water. He’d asked why and you’d simply said you weren’t alone in the cave but as long as you didn’t go in, the other occupant didn’t bother you.

Dean didn’t seem to want to know any more than that.

“Music is worse,” he lamented. “People are shitty. Bad things happen everywhere.”

“There’s gotta be something good about the new century,” you chuckled. “Are Queen still going?”

He gave you a worried look. “Yeah… sort of. Freddie Mercury died in 1991.” You stared at him, unable to process that information. “A lot has happened in thirty years. We have a black president.”

“Wow. World changed.”

“Not so much for the good.” Sitting back, he hooked his arms around his knees, watching the water warily. “So there’s a way out of here.”

Nodding, you followed his gaze, seeing bubbles at the far end of the huge cavern. “This place is designed for monsters. Not humans. It’ll do everything it can to spit you out. Unfortunately, the inhabitants will do everything they can to eat you. Everything runs on baser instinct here.”

“How does a nephilim end up in this dimension?”

“Stupidity, mostly,” you grumbled, picking up a rock and tossing it into the lake. Dean jumped, waiting for something to jump back out but you knew nothing would happen. “My mother and father were stationed on Earth together, part of the same garrison. Spending so much time among humans, they… bonded. Like no other angel had bonded before.”

“I didn’t think angels could, y’know…” Dean paused, biting his lip. “Junkless and all.”

“Genderless,” you correct him, laughing lightly. “Angels, as they are naturally, are waves of celestial intent, unable to do much without a physical form. And my parents must have had the right  _ physical _ form because -” You gestured to yourself. “Ta-da.”

He smirked, leaning back in the sand, apparently satisfied nothing was going to come up from the depths of the lake to get revenge for the pebble. “Okay, smartass. Mommy and Daddy figured out slot A went into slot B. Doesn’t explain you?”

“Did your mom never give you the talk?” you quipped back, instantly regretting it when you saw the pain on his face. “Oh, god, what did I say?”

Dean shook his head, sighing as he avoided your gaze. “My mom died when I was four. So, no, she never gave me the talk. And my dad…” He snorted. “I don’t think he was worried about that kind of delinquency when there were bigger things in the world.”

“Was he… not a good father?” You weren’t sure how to word the question but it didn’t seem to offend him.

“He did everything he could with things he couldn’t understand. I’m not saying he didn’t do a lot of things wrong, because he did -” Dean trailed off for a second, his mind somewhere else entirely. “John Winchester was a grade A dick but he kept us safe. Showed us how to survive.” He looked down at the ground. “Me and Sam wouldn’t have made it this far without that.”

“Sam? Your brother?” You’d heard him mention the brother earlier on. 

“Kid’s probably going outta his mind.”

“How old is he?”

Dean barked a laugh. “He’s twenty-nine.”

You frowned. “And you call him ‘kid’?”

“He’ll always be my kid brother, y’know?” Dean smiled, looking up at the crystals. The light refracted at all angles, even with the minimal amount of glow from the lantern by your side. “If we don’t find a way out, I’ll bet he’s already on it. He’s smart. Smartest person I know.”

“You sound proud of him.”

He didn’t say anything but it was clear by the smile on his face that he was. You sighed, looking over the water; the bubbles were gone.

“I never had any siblings,” you mumbled, staring into space. “My mom and dad had to run when Heaven found out what they’d done. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t the product of a human and an angel - they’d made something worse. A human with pure angel grace and a permanent vessel. I was an abomination.”

There was silence after you’d spoken and the discomfort of it made your stomach churn. Dean was watching you, a curious expression on his handsome features.

“They got my mom first. I was… thirteen. My dad and I kept running. And when I was twenty-five… they caught up again. Dad was hurt.” You closed your eyes, swallowing around the lump in your throat. “I couldn’t heal him so I made a deal. The angels could have me, if they healed my dad.”

“What happened?” Dean asked; you wiped furiously at the tears in your eyes.

“The angels lied. They banished me here. I don’t know if they healed him or -” Thinking about it hurt too much. For years you’d wished they’d killed you - this punishment felt so much more severe than the simple crime of existing should have been.

“Maybe Cas can answer that for you,” Dean said suddenly. “He probably knows.”

“We don’t even know if he’s here. But you can guarantee he’ll be a beacon to everything in here.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’m a beacon,” you chuckled, getting to your feet and brushing sand off of your pants. “But I’m a beacon with a wicked blade and a few tricks up her sleeves.” Holding out your hand, you smiled at him. “C’mon. It’ll be light soon and we need to get moving. See if we can’t find you a way home.”

Dean accepted the offer of help, groaning as he stood straight.

You hadn’t noticed just how tall he was before.

“You sure this is the right thing to do?” he asked hesitantly. “Maybe we should stay here in case Sam -”

God, he was optimistic. It was almost painful.

“Trust me, Dean,” you promised, “you got a better chance running than standing still.”

*****

Purgatory was a vast landscape of dead trees, moss and rock. After the first day of walking, Dean could feel a bone-deep weariness he’d never felt before, not even in The Pit. But when night came, there wasn’t the safety of the cavern to shelter in for rest.

Three days later, and you’d walked miles, you must have, yet there’d been nothing but trees and the odd vampire. Dean had attempted to interrogate them, trying to find his missing friend; none of the monsters were willing to help him.

You didn’t know what else to do but keep moving. It wasn’t smart to be outside when the light faded but you were confident you could protect both you and Dean, as long as you didn’t run into any huge packs.

“This place just goes on,” he muttered, sitting by the river, the water making a gentle sound beside him. You nodded, squatting to scoop a handful of water toward your mouth. The liquid wasn’t really required but you felt dirty and sticky - the more you walked, the worse it got. “Do you - do you think we’ll find him?”

“Castiel?” you shrugged. “Depends if he’s been found by them first, I guess.” Standing straight, you touched his shoulder. “But if he’s as resourceful as you say -”

Dean laughed but there was no humor in his tone. “Yeah. Baby in a trenchcoat.”

“We should keep moving,” you mumbled, walking past him. Dean sighed, nodding and following. For a while, you kept walking, trudging over the damp ground toward the never-ending horizon.

Daylight was fading fast and the sky was darkening with thicker and thicker clouds. There wasn’t much in the way of weather in Purgatory - it wasn’t hot or cold, it wasn’t muggy, it wasn’t dry. It just  _ was _ . God hadn’t put much thought into this place, not that he needed to when it was supposed to be a prison.

So when it started to rain, you had to stop and process it.

Dean carried on walking, oblivious to the worsening shower. “Dean!” you called.

“What? It’s just a little rain.” He kept going, which was about the time the little rain became a downpour.

Sprinting to catch up to him, you had to keep your footing in the mud. You grabbed for his sleeve, sending you both careening down a sudden dip. Neither of you could stop the pull of gravity - Dean wrapped his arms around you, clinging on for dear life as you fell, landing a few feet lower than you had been and a damn sight muddier.

“Over there,” he panted, pulling you up and dragging you toward whatever he’d spotted. There was water and mud in your eyes and you could barely breathe, letting him guide you along. When the rain stopped, you looked up, realizing he’d found a shelter of some sort.

A low growl filled the space behind you.

“Shit,” Dean mumbled, wiping his wet face with his equally wet sleeve. “Think someone’s home.”

You shivered, unused to the cold and aching from the fall. Within the depths of the gnarled tree base Dean had discovered, two sets of bright amber eyes glowed and you pulled your blade free. Neither of the creatures seemed sentient - not unusual for Purgatory.

“Dean,” you hissed, passing him the blade. “Take the one on the left.”

He frowned, taking the knife. “What about you?”

“I’ve got a few tricks,” you replied.

The creatures lunged and in the darkness, it was impossible to keep an eye on Dean. Your opponent socked you in the jaw, its strength taking you by surprise. Managing to keep it at bay with one hand on its shoulder, the snapping fangs inches from your throat.

It took everything you had to cover the thing’s eyes with your hand, summoning all the grace you could. An ear piercing screech left the monster’s mouth, light filling the darkness, giving you a clear view of Dean crumpling under the other one.

“Dean!”

You shoved away the eyeless corpse, rushing toward the struggling hunter. He growled in irritation, pushing the dead monster off him where it had fallen. Relief flooded your chest, taking the strength out of your legs. Landing on your knees, you choked out a sob.

“Whoa, whoa,” Dean climbed up, moving to your side, “I’m okay.”

“Sorry,” you managed, clutching at his jacket as he helped you up. “I just - I’ve been alone for so long and then you come along and…” A shudder traveled down your spine as you thought about before he’d been there. “I don’t wanna be alone again,” you confessed, closing your eyes and leaning your head against his shoulder.

Dean’s hands were on your back, rubbing circles in an attempt to soothe you. Outside the huge tree, the rain pelted down, with no hint of stopping. “We can’t go anywhere in this. Can you even catch pneumonia in Purgatory?”

You shrugged, standing straight but not breaking the physical contact with him. “I don’t know. It’s never rained before.”

“You’re freezing,” he murmured, his large hands on your arms now, stroking up and down. “Come on, let’s move these bodies outta here and we can block the entrance.” You managed a nod, following suit when he grabbed one of the creatures by the ankles. It took a lot of effort to lug them out of the space under the tree but one shove sent them tumbling further down the embankment into the muddy slush at the bottom.

By the time the trunk was blocked, the rain was starting to stop and outside the tree was pitch black. Both of you were soaked through, and though you didn’t think you could die of natural causes in Purgatory, you weren’t about to take the chance with Dean’s fragile humanity.

He froze when you started to strip out of your clothing. “What are you doing?”

“We can hang the shirts up there to dry,” you informed him, gesturing to the roots above your heads. “And I can warm you up a little with skin to skin contact.”

“You really haven’t flirted in a while, have you?”

You avoided his eyes, embarrassment heating your cheeks. “It’s been… some time,” you replied quietly. “And I’m not flirting. I just want to keep you alive.”

There was a pause and you hesitated with your pants around your thighs and only a thin tank covering your breasts. Dean’s eyes swept over you, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. “Keeping alive would be ideal,” he muttered.

Pushing your pants the rest of the way down, you stepped out of them, removing your shoes and socks. When you turned back to Dean, he’d removed his jacket and his boots, and was working on his pants.

“Are we safe here?” he asked, genuine concern in his voice. “I mean -”

“We’re safe,” you promised, stepping closer to him. 

His fingers were shaking when he pulled his shirt up and over his head. Scars littered his chest; you reached up, touching them with your fingertips, tracing them upward until your palm was covering his tattoo. “That was pretty heavy,” Dean commented quietly, “what you did to that thing.”

“Needed doing,” you shrugged, running your thumb over the dip in his throat, “but unlike angels, I can’t smite like I’m batting flies. It’s… taxing.”

Dean smiled softly, leaning in, cupping your cheek. His lips were warm when he pressed them to yours and you sighed into his touch, threading your fingers through his hair. “How were you plannin’ on warmin’ me up, sweetheart?” he rumbled, brushing his nose against yours. 

You smiled. “Like this.”

The air around you shifted as you manifested your wings like you had done when you’d first found him. Letting your grace unfold, the warmth of your body drew him in closer, seeking out your lips again. You hummed against his mouth, stretching out your feathers.

“Take your pants off,” you whispered, letting one wing graze his shoulder. Dean shuddered, staring at you with dark eyes. “They need to dry.”

He didn’t hesitate to remove them, tossing them across the last remaining branch. In the next second, he’d pressed back up against you; you didn’t resist.

“How long’s it been?” he asked, nuzzling into your throat. “Since someone kissed you?”

“Five seconds,” you quipped back, yelping when he dragged his teeth over your pulse point. “A long time, Dean. Too long.”

“You want me to touch you?”

Your heart thundered in your chest. You nodded and he smirked.

“Where?”

His fingers danced over your bare thigh and your breath caught in your throat. Dean’s smirk widened. “There,” you whispered, barely able to keep your eyes on him. He pressed his fingers higher and your wings curled in response, wrapping around the both of you as Dean dragged you to the ground. They provided a soft cushion against the hard floor, keeping your bodies close together.

Dean hummed against your lips. “You really are warm,” he commented, fingertips grazing your folds. “And wet.”

You nodded, catching his cheek with your palm, drawing him into a heated kiss. His touch grew a little rougher, fingers spreading your pussy lips so he could tease one thick digit into your soaked channel. Gasping into his mouth, you pulled back, looking up at him with dark eyes.

“We can get warmer,” you pointed out and Dean chuckled.

“That right?”

It didn’t take much effort to lift your leg and hook it around his waist, forcing him to withdraw his fingers. “Fuck me, Dean.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Your back was against the floor, feathers spread around you and Dean couldn’t help but stare a moment before he swept in and kissed you hard, fumbling to line himself up. Rocking into you, he penetrated you slowly, unwilling to part from your lips as you gasped into his mouth.

“That feel good?” he asked, snagging your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Yeah,” you tugged on his hair, meeting him thrust for thrust, “don’t stop.”

Dean grunted in amusement, grabbing your hip with one hand to give his movements more leverage. A scream died in your throat when he slammed into you, the tip of his cock hitting a spot that made you dizzy and your wings twitched, curling in like a cocoon around both of you.

Purgatory had always been timeless but right there, under a gnarled dead tree, you found a moment that you didn’t want to end. Warmth filled every part of you; Dean kissed you again and you came undone.

“Come back with me,” he murmured into your hair, panting heavily as he finished. His hair was plastered to his forehead through sweat, his chest heaving with labored breaths. “I don’t wanna leave you here.”

Your wings relaxed a little as Dean pulled away, laying at your side, watching you. “They’ll find me,” you warned, turning into him, pressing your nose against his chest, inhaling his scent. “I don’t want to stay, Dean... but there’s no way to get me out.”

“What if I found a way?”

Placing your palm over his heart, you looked up, meeting his gaze. “I’d come with you.”

Dean smiled, cupping your cheek to kiss you again. “Get some rest. We’re gonna have to move on soon.”


	2. Chapter 2

Things in Purgatory were constant. That was the way it was, always had been, but somehow, Dean’s appearance had changed all of that. The dimension was in chaos and as you stood in the sunshine, lifting your face to catch the warmth, you knew that things were only going to get worse before they got better.

Several weeks into your journey, the vampire, Benny, had offered to lead Dean out of Purgatory, claiming to know where the portal was that could land him back in his own world. Dean had accepted the offer on the basis that he’d take Benny with him and you realized that you were one step closer to Dean getting back his world.

Thinking about being alone again terrified you. You’d gotten so used to your own company over the years and Dean had turned your captive life upside down. He hadn’t spoken about you leaving with him since the night in the tree trunk, although there’d been plenty of intimate moments between then and now that hadn’t been required for keeping warm.

You didn’t trust Benny. He’d known who you were from the moment he’d laid eyes on you, seconds before he’d taken out the vampire threatening Dean. When he’d made the offer to help him, you remained silent, but when he looked at you, you could see it in his eyes.

He didn’t think you’d make it.

It didn’t help Dean was changing. He was sharper, more on edge - more violent. Right now, you were following a lead on his friend, one he’d gotten from threatening and ultimately killing one of Purgatory’s more common inhabitants.

“We’ve got company,” Benny muttered, pausing at the top of a short downward slope and you came to stop, glancing between him and Dean. “At least three of ‘em.”

Dean held his blade up - he’d commandeered it from a dead vamp, and it kinda suited him. In a primal, dangerous as hell way. “Vampires?”

“Werewolves,” Benny corrected, glancing at you. “You wanna stay back, cher?”

“I’m not a fragile little girl,” you snapped, glaring at him but he only smirked, shrugging as Dean chuckled at your indignation. Unsheathing your blade, you stood in between them, ready to give as good as you got.

There were three werewolves coming for you, bursting from the thick undergrowth up ahead. Golden eyes flashed in the odd sepia light that filtered through the clouds of this dimension. Dean twisted his weapon in his hands skilfully and Benny bared his fangs.

It was over quickly.

One opponent each wasn’t a challenge and when the wolves were dead, all three of you were still on edge, ready for whatever came next.

All that came was the wind through the trees, whipping your hair around your head. “There’s a storm coming!” Benny yelled, looking up at the darkening sky but Dean wasn’t listening to him. He was looking into the distance, his eyes locked on something.

“What is it?” you asked, raising your voice to counteract the wind.

“The stream,” he muttered.

You frowned, unable to see anything in the darkness. “It could be anything.” Thunder split the sky, making both of you look up.

“We need to find shelter,” Benny grunted, stomping over to the two of you. “We’ll worry about your angel friend later, yeah?”

The rock formation Benny found was barely big enough for him or Dean to squeeze through - you were smaller and therefore much better suited to slipping through small gaps. Inside, it opened up into a damp cavern, nowhere near the size of the one you’d called home for the last three decades but big enough for the three of you to lay down comfortably and possibly make a fire.

It started to rain, just as Benny fell in through the hole, landing in a clumsy heap. Dean chuckled, checking you over. “I’m fine,” you shoved his hands away, irritated at the move, “I’m a little more durable than you are.”

He shrugged, glancing at Benny. “What now?”

“We can’t go anywhere in that. But the rain will wash away our tracks.” The vampire slid down the furthest rock wall. “All we can do is rest.”

Dean groaned. “Fantastic.”

Sighing, you slipped down into a similar position to Benny, tugging on Dean’s pants. “At least we’re not wet this time.”

“I don't recall it being that bad,” he mumbled playfully, sinking down beside you and you grinned, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Let’s hope the storm is over quickly. I know Cas is out there.”

Benny’s eyes met yours in the darkness of the cave. Neither of you wanted to speak the truth of your thoughts - Dean was reaching, desperate to find his friend. It was unlikely the angel had survived so long alone in Purgatory.

You kept quiet, curling into Dean’s side. His arm dropped around your shoulders and he pressed his lips to your temple. “We’ll find him,” he murmured. “And we’ll find a way outta this place.”

God, you hoped he was right.

The storm passed eventually and the three of you continued your journey in silence. Dean took the lead and you hung back, leaving Benny to bring up the rear. After hours of walking, Dean was a good few hundred yards ahead; the vampire appeared at your side, sparing the hunter a glance.

“You really think his pal is gonna turn up alive?” he muttered, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, shrugging. “Weirder things have happened.”

Benny sniffed a laugh, shaking his head. “Like a half-angel brat surviving here?”

“You don’t know me,” you ground out, fisting your hands. “Whatever you heard is rumor, nothing more.”

“I heard you spent years taking out monsters when you got here. Then you disappeared. Everyone thought you’d been got.”

Laughing humorlessly, you gave him a pointed look. “Well, I didn’t. I just…”

“Gave up?”

Your jaw tightened. Up ahead, Dean stopped, so you slowed, fixing Benny with a venomous glare. “I haven’t given up. Maybe I did but now -”

“You think you got a ticket outta Purgatory, cher? With him?”

“Maybe.”

The vampire smirked, arching an eyebrow. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“Hey!” Dean yelled, dragging your attention to where he’d stopped. Beyond him, the trees opened up and you could hear running water. The shout hadn’t been meant for you, you realized, as Dean took off running.

You didn’t hesitate, taking off after him. He hadn’t gone far; you caught up to where he’d stopped, staring at a figure hunched over the stream.

Castiel.

Benny approached, walking past you and giving you a look that spoke volumes - you elected to ignore it as Dean jogged across the clearing, calling the angel’s name.

“Dean,” Castiel got to his feet, not reacting when Dean flung his arms around him in a hug. If anything, from where you were standing, he looked terrified. 

“Damn, it's good to see you,” Dean laughed, clapping the angel on the shoulder and gesturing to his unshaven appearance. “Nice peach fuzz.”

Cas hesitated, avoiding Dean’s eyes. “Thank you.”

“You should meet somebody,” Dean turned, looking back at you and Benny. “This is Benny. Benny, this is Cas.”

Lifting a hand, Benny waved. “Hola.”

Blue eyes coasted past the vampire to you. “And this is -”

“Y/N,” Castiel spoke your name like it was forbidden and Dean drew back, frowning. “How did you find me?” The abrupt change of subject made you shudder - of course, Cas knew who you were. Angels had spent years hunting you down.

“The bloody way,” Dean explained, his hand still on his friend’s shoulder. “You feeling okay?”

“You mean am I still…” Pointing to his head, Castiel made circles with his finger.

Shrugging, Dean smirked. “Yeah, if you want to be on the nose about it, sure.”

“No,” the angel deadpanned. “I'm perfectly sane. But, then, 94% of psychotics think they're perfectly sane, so I guess we'd have to ask ourselves,  _ ‘what is sane? _ ’"

For a few seconds, none of you spoke, unsure how to take the statement. Dean’s bottom lip stuck out and he looked toward you; you stared back in complete bewilderment.

“That's,” Dean fumbled for something to say, “a good question,” he finished lamely.

Benny didn’t have such a problem keeping quiet. “Why'd you bail on Dean?” His body language was threatening - you grabbed his arm, trying to avoid a confrontation.

“Dude -”

Ignoring Dean’s scolding tone, Benny allowed you to hold him back, but he wasn’t going to stop running his mouth. “The way I hear it, you two hit monster land, and hot wings here took off. I figure he owes you some backstory.”

“Look, we were surrounded, okay?” Dean snapped, holding out his weapon. “Some freak jumped Cas. Obviously, he kicked its ass, right?” He looked to the angel for confirmation - there was no emotion on Castiel’s face.

“No.”

He didn’t even have the grace to look apologetic and Dean looked downright betrayed. “What?”

“I ran away.”

“You ran away?” The barely contained rage was audible in Dean’s voice. His body shook from head to toe at his friend’s confession.

“I had to.”

Dean exploded. “That's your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla-wolves?!”

“Dean -”

“You bailed out and, what,” the hunter gestured wildly, “went camping? I prayed to you, Cas, every night.”

“I know.”

You winced, releasing Benny’s arm. The threat of confrontation was no longer coming from him - Dean was fast losing his temper. “You know and you didn't…” He growled, slamming his foot into the ground. “What the hell's wrong with you?”

For his part, Cas was remaining remarkably calm. “I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived.”

“Join the club!” Dean seethed.

Castiel’s fists curled at his side and his jaw clenched, the first sign he was losing his grip. “These are not just monsters, Dean. They're Leviathan. I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you. That's why I ran. Just leave me, please.”

Benny didn’t skip a beat, turning on his heel. “Sounds like a plan. Let's roll.”

“Hold on, hold on,” Dean called, holding a hand out, visibly calming himself. Focusing on his friend, he tipped his head, trying to reason with him. “Cas, we're getting out of here. We're going home.”

“Dean, I can't…” There was no explanation, just the refusal and you could see the tick in Dean’s cheek.

“You can,” he insisted. “Benny, tell him.”

The vampire’s eyes skipped to you and he hesitated, finally looking back at Dean. “Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it's angel-friendly.”

Despair washed over the hunter, and his shoulders sagged. But he wasn’t about to give up. “We'll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you.” For a second, Castiel looked like he was about to flee but Dean stepped closer, even when the angel drawled his name in frustration. “And if Leviathan want to take a shot at us, let ‘em. We ganked those bitches once before. We can do it again.

“It's too dangerous,” Cas shook his head, even as Dean squared up to him.

“Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?” There was a deathly silence that followed his declaration and you shared a look with Benny, both of you unsure of the need for Castiel to be there.

The silence ended and Castiel nodded once.

“I understand.”

*****

The darkness seemed darker the longer you were out in the wilderness. Somehow, a part of you missed your cave, missed the solitude. You’d gone from completely alone to completely surrounded and you hadn’t quite figured out how to deal with it.

Your mistrust of Castiel’s addition to the group seemed to give Benny a reason to trust you. A few days later, another storm whipped up the forest, no rain this time, but enough wind to take down half the dead trees in your path.

There was no shelter to be found, so the four of you found a steep bank, huddling up beside that. Thankfully, this storm didn’t seem to have the staying power of the last one and before long, you were on the move again, needing to find shelter to rest.

“You know,” Benny muttered, slouching beside you, “there’s no guarantee you’re getting out either.”

“I’m aware,” you hissed, almost tripping on a tree root. He caught you, closing his hand around your elbow hard enough to make you jump. “I’m fine,” you spat, snatching your arm back.

“Need a break?” Dean’s voice made you look up to where he’d stopped, watching you with concern on his face. “Maybe we should stop for a while.” He glanced at Castiel, obviously expecting some sort of opinion but he received nothing but disinterest. Shrugging, he jogged down the bank, stopping in front of you.

“I’m fine,” you repeated, clenching your jaw. “I can keep going. Don’t stop just because I happen to have tits.” Dean blinked in surprise at the edge to your tone.

Reaching out, he touched your arm gently. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. Hell, I’ve seen you kick ass, sweetheart, ain’t no one denying that. But we’ve been walking for days. I don’t know about you, but I’m beat and we ain’t seen a sign of any shelter.” He looked around at the closely packed trees. “Here’s as good a place as any.”

You wanted to argue with him, keep going. Behind you, Benny waited and Dean focused his eyes on your face, pleading with you silently to take a break. Finally, your shoulders dropped and you nodded. “A few hours. But we gotta keep moving.”

“Okay,” he promised, “two hours.”

“I’ll keep watch,” Benny mumbled, stalking off to where the treeline thickened, obscuring the view. Castiel watched him for a second before following and you sighed, sinking down onto a tree stump.

“You think those two will kill each other?” you muttered and Dean laughed, sitting down beside you. Lowering his hand to your thigh, he smiled over at you, rubbing his thumb over the hole in your pants that showed skin underneath. “Dean…”

“What?”

With a sigh, you covered his hand. “You don’t need to look after me. I’ve survived a long time on my own.”

“The point is that you don’t have to anymore,” he said slowly, searching your eyes. “We’re gonna get out of here.”

“You don’t know that,” you whispered, your voice soft as you stood up again, unable to keep still. Benny and Castiel had disappeared entirely - for a brief moment, you wondered if they’d come back. “Dean, there’s no way to know if I can even escape this place.”

“I’m gonna find a way,” he insisted in defiance. “Benny says there’s an incantation so that I can carry his spirit through -” He got to his feet, far too excited about something that wasn’t possible.

“I’m not a spirit,” you interrupted, facing him with your hands up. “I wasn’t killed. I was imprisoned here. I’m flesh and blood and grace.” Dean’s expression crumbled and he moved closer, cupping your cheek with his hand, refusing to let you pull away when you tried. “Dean…”

He smiled, shaking his head. “We’re gonna figure it out. We haven’t even found this portal yet. We just gotta -”

“That’s a lot of ‘ _ we _ ’,” you murmured, pressing your hand against his chest. You could feel a thick trunk behind you and Dean kept backing you up until you were sandwiched between him and the wood. Repeating his name only made him growl under his breath as he swept in to kiss you soundly.

It lasted only seconds but it left you breathless. Dean pulled back an inch or two, staring at you with dark eyes. His hand was on your hip now, tugging the fabric down - you didn’t stop him. Eagerness to feel him replaced the need to fight him on the insistence that you were leaving with him and you put up no resistance when he tore your pants down your legs. Giving you enough to pull one leg free, Dean pushed you up against the tree again, unbuckling his pants and freeing his cock.

He hooked his hand under your knee, lifting your leg and pressing into you, filling you with one hard stroke. You gasped, clutching his shoulder, biting your bottom lip so you didn’t scream and bring the other men running.

Dean fucked you hard and fast, bringing you to a violent end that forced you to slump against him. He held you up, not stopping until his entire body tensed and his thrusts turned to rutting as he came inside you. His mouth was against your neck, his warm breath cascading over your skin.

“I’m getting you out of here,” he whispered, kissing the spot below your ear as he withdrew, fastening his pants. You scrambled for yours, pulling them on swiftly before looking up at him. “I promise.”

“You barely know me,” you countered, confused by his steadfast decision, “why are you so -”

Dean interrupted by pushing you back against the tree, kissing you with far more desperation than he had before. Your shock at the action rendered you silent when he pulled away. “You know why,” he growled. “I’m going to get you home.”

*****

It seemed like there were more and more creatures trying to kill you every day. Not just werewolves or vampires anymore - now that Castiel was there, the Leviathan were making their presence known and you weren’t sure how many more fights you could handle.

You hated fighting. It felt like you’d done it every day since you were born.

The last Leviathan dropped and you stood straight, surveying your surroundings. Castiel had a better handle on his powers than you had here, managing to smite at will - Dean and Benny made do with their blades. You’d burned out your opponent but it had left you feeling queasy.

“Well, I got to admit, Dean,” Benny stood straight, wiping his blade on the Leviathan corpse, “he's got his strong points, but holy hell if he ain't a magnet.”

Dean gave him an offended stare. “Well, before we found Cas, you said it was my humanity that was drawing too much attention and -” He gestured to you and you glared at him.

The vampire chuckled under his breath. “Yeah, that too.”

Castiel wiped his trenchcoat down fruitlessly - the thing was beyond saving like most of your clothing. “Well, I think we're clear for the moment.” He looked down at the Leviathan, nudging it with his toe. “It does present a curious curl in the metaphysics, doesn't it? If you murder a monster in monster heaven, where does it go?”

His ridiculous statements knew no bounds; you briefly wondered if his brain had an extra screw rattling around. Benny huffed, shaking his head and pointing at the angel. “And this is the crazy aunt I want to take on the road?”

“I am not your aunt,” Castiel retorted.

“What?” Benny blinked, not sure if he was joking. “Really?”

“I have no possible relationship to your sibling offspring.”

“Now, you're kidding me.”

The back and forth made Dean grunt in irritation, pinching the bridge of his nose as his two friends bickered. “Oh, you two are killing me.”

“We should really get moving,” you muttered, turning your back. The three males started to walk behind you but the conversation didn’t stop.

“I have to agree with the vampire, Dean,” Castiel said, his gravel-low voice carrying through the trees. “The risk of crossing Purgatory with a seraph, and a nephilim, - it's... less than strategic, and certainly when we have no reason to believe that I can pass through the door that you're headed for.”

Benny piped up again, although you longer to turn and tell Castiel that you’d managed thirty years in this hell and the problems had only gotten worse since he’d tagged along. “You see, you're an intact, living human being stuck in Purgatory's craw,” he was talking directly to Dean now, blanking Cas entirely. “This dimension wants to spit you out, which is exactly what's gonna power our escape pod. Now, I'm pretty sure I can squeeze through, too, because, after all, you take away the fangs and the fun, I was born human, too. But…” He trailed off, jerking his head toward Cas.

The angel sighed, shaking his head. “I don't think it would work for me.” His eyes landed on your back and you could feel his weighted gaze. “Or her.”

“You hear what he's telling you, Dean? Your buddy is saying -” 

Dean turned, forcing Benny up against a thick trunk, his finger pointing into his chest. “Listen to me, you undead blood junkie,” he snarled unpleasantly enough to make you look back. “I'm the one with the mojo. I'm the one with the plan. Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all four of us.”

“Obviously, I'm less than comfortable with that,” Benny joked, holding his hands up as Dean backed away.

“I’m agreeing with Benny here,” you said, drawing Dean’s attention to you. “Dean, you don’t belong here. This dimension is throwing a hissy fit at your mere existence -”

“You don’t belong here either!” Dean snapped. “Either of you.” Throwing his arms up, he stormed off ahead, his blade clutched tightly in his hands. Castiel gave you an odd look before following him but before you could head on, Benny touched your shoulder gently.

“Give him a minute, cher,” he murmured, squeezing lightly. “He’s gotta figure it out for himself.”

*****

The longer you walked, the more confused you became.

Before Dean, things had been awful, true, but they’d been constant. The air was dry, the landscape barren, and you survived day to day, slowly going insane. Every day was a fight to keep going - not that it had changed in that respect.

For nine months, you’d had company but you still hadn’t adjusted. Dean hovered constantly, needing to touch you for his own reassurance, and that comforted you. The rest of his time was spent fielding insults between the angel and the vampire, if they weren’t busy fighting whatever creatures were trying to kill you all.

Benny thought you might be close but it felt like you were walking in circles. Purgatory was endless, stretching on for more than time and space - there was no telling where you were.

“Jeez, Cas, I heard you,” Dean snapped, breaking the silence you’d been traveling in. Turning, you frowned back at the hunter and his angel friend, confused at the sudden outburst.

“I’m simply saying -” Piercing blue eyes turned on you. “She’s dangerous.”

You folded your arms across your chest, fully facing them. “I’m sorry?”

“Nephilim are an abomination,” Castiel declared, lifting his chin and you shot him a disgusted look. Benny stood behind you, rubbernecking like a guy driving past a wreck. Dean slammed his hand into Cas’ chest and the angel looked at him blankly.

“That was rude,” Dean ground out.

“It’s the truth. Y/N was banished here for a reason.”

“Yeah, because your brethren are bigoted assholes!” you cried out, storming toward him. “I didn’t  _ ask _ to exist,” you continued, jabbing a finger into his shoulder. “You think I wanted to be this hated thing? You know how hard it was growing up, knowing that I couldn’t be anything but despised by my own kind?”

Dean stepped between you, taking hold of your upper arms and guiding you back. Tears were tracking through the dirt on your cheeks now, pleading eyes seeking his defense from his friend. “He doesn’t mean it,” he excused - you pushed him off, turning away to stomp off into the trees.

“You’re an asshole,” Dean spat at Castiel, who simply blinked at him. “You don’t even know her.”

“Neither do you,” the angel pointed out. “She talks of growing up - nephilim are never babies, not physically. She’s a liar.”

The information gave Dean pause - he looked the way you’d gone, before huffing and taking off after you.

You hadn’t made it far. He found you sat in a pile of leaves, leaning up against a gnarled tree. Approaching silently, he squatted down beside you, reaching out to wipe tears from your dirty cheek. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“You didn’t stick up for me,” you accused, glaring at him. “I know he was your friend first but… I’ve never lied to you, Dean. I was born. I was a kid. Maybe it was a long time ago but I didn’t just appear out of nothing.” Shaking your head, you looked away from him. “I don’t have any way to prove it to you but Cas was mislead. They all were. I had to be destroyed - they couldn’t let angels know that they were capable of  _ evolving _ . Michael had to stop that getting out.”

Dean frowned, shaking his head. “Then we tell him.”

“He won’t believe me, Dean. I tried for years to get them to understand - my father too. But they… they won’t listen.” You sniffed, wiping your nose with your sleeve. “I was banished because they didn’t know how to kill me. But they couldn’t… they wouldn’t let me stay.”

He was closer now, wrapping his arms around you, shushing you as your shoulders started to shake. You clutched at his shirt, sniffling miserably.

“I wanna go back with you,” you whispered, pulling back to look up at him. “More than you know. I spent thirty years alone… I don’t wanna be alone again. I wanna be with you.”

A smile tugged at his lips. “I got a whole world to show you, sweetheart.”

“Promise?”

It was stupid, to ask for a promise like that when you knew there was a possibility he couldn’t keep it. He’d offered it freely before but now, asking for it, it felt more concrete. You didn’t want to let him go.

Leaning in, Dean kissed you softly. “Promise.”

“Company!” Benny yelled, disrupting the moment. Instantly, Dean was up, dragging you with him, a split second before a howl pierced the quiet of the forest. Three Leviathan landed meters away and you shrieked, jumping back.

Dean spun around, shielding you as he held his weapon in front of him. The three monsters circled you and you panicked, pushing Dean out of the way and charging the nearest one. Slamming your hand into its head, you focused on burning it alive and the creature screamed.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled as the second jumped you from behind, vicious circles of teeth snapping loudly. The wet thwack of his blade preceded a spray of black goo and the Leviathan’s head rolled along the floor away from you. You shrugged the body off, turning with Dean to face the third.

Somewhere in the forest, you could hear another fight taking place. Dean twisted his weapon in his hands, starting to circle the remaining monster, which snarled and snapped, the human form contorting into rows upon rows of teeth and back again.

They lunged at the same time; Dean’s blade went flying out of his grasp and you screamed, throwing yourself in between them as the Leviathan went in for the kill. Spreading your wings, you blocked the attack, screeching in pain when the teeth sliced through your wing, dropping you to the floor.

Dean retrieved the axe, spinning with almost effortless grace and lopping the creature’s head off.

You were writhing on the leaves, blood pouring from your shoulder. The damage to your wing was reflected in your skin - you howled when Dean tried to inspect the wound, lurching away like a wounded beast.

“Y/N, Y/N!” He grabbed your arms, holding you steady. “I gotta look at it, okay?”

Sobbing, you nodded, trying to remain still but shivering with agony. Dean’s touch was as gentle as it could be and you cringed, whimpering when he pressed at the wound. It was thick, at least seven inches long, stretching from shoulder to the middle of your lower back.

“It’s not deep,” he assured you, “and you heal fast.”

Footsteps crunched in the leaves behind you and Dean turned, seeing Benny and Castiel approaching, both of them wearing concerned expressions. “She hurt?” Benny asked gruffly.

“Yeah. Leviathan took a chunk outta her wing,” Dean mumbled, shrugging his jacket off and hanging it over your shoulders, careful not to touch the injury. He held a hand out, helping you up - you remained hunched over, the wound refusing to allow a straight posture. “She got hurt protecting me.”

The statement was clearly for Castiel’s benefit and the angel bristled.

“We should keep going,” Benny muttered, gesturing in the direction you’d been heading. “Before more of them turn up.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was a crazy idea, one that couldn’t possibly work.

The portal was less than a day away and the thought of going home had been playing on your mind since you’d managed to heal your shoulder. Coming so close to death after so long was terrifying and only reminded you that the fighting wouldn’t be over once you were out of Purgatory.

Angels, like Castiel, would never let you rest.

“Hey,” Dean murmured, catching you stood by the water, staring out where the sky became purple in the distance. The stream you’d found Castiel by so many months ago had become a swollen river, the murky waters dangerous and rapidly flowing. “You okay?”

His hand found your shoulder, checking the skin visible through your almost-shredded vest. “I’m okay,” you whispered, place your hand over his where it rested, pulling it down until he was stood right behind you.

“Did you think about…” Dean trailed off, lowering his mouth to the side of your neck and you closed your eyes, enjoying the simple caress.

Since you’d told him you were flesh and blood and  _ grace _ , Dean hadn’t been able to stop thinking. Benny had told him that Purgatory wanted to spit him out, that he didn’t belong. And theoretically, if they removed your grace, you’d be human too.

It was what came after that had made you stop and wonder if it was a good idea to go back.

Without your grace, your body wouldn’t hold together. There was a limited amount of time it would work for before you started to die. You weren’t just a human with angel grace - not a corpse being used like a condom.

No, your grace with an intrinsic part of your being. Everything you were made up of was connected by angelic power. You couldn’t possess another vessel or simply exist as a wave of celestial intent.

“It might work,” you hummed, turning into his hold, letting your fingers play with his collar as you looked up at him.

“The angels won’t want you if you’re human,” Dean replied, catching your chin between his thumb and forefinger, kissing you softly. “You can stay. Live a life. With me.”

It hurt too much to think about. Of course he wouldn’t want to be with you in the  _ real _ world, wouldn’t want you if you were a nephilim there. You’d be a monster to him, another creature to hunt. Just like Benny would be.

“I can’t live without my grace,” you blurted out, stepping back. “It’s impossible. I’m not an angel, Dean. I don’t get to ride around in a vessel, this -” You slammed a hand into your chest. “This is me. Take the grace away and… I’ll die.”

His face went slack for a second before confusion made his eyebrows knit together. “I thought -”

“I’m not the child of a human and an angel, Dean. I’m a child of  _ two _ angels. The grace I carry isn’t someone else’s, it’s mine, this body is  _ mine _ . You understand?” Tears were stinging your eyes as you took his hand. “If you can’t accept that, I’m… I’m not gonna put you in danger.”

Slowly, Dean shook his head, pulling you closer. “I didn’t realize,” he confessed quietly, catching your other hand. “We can figure it out.”

“We only have a day,” you whispered desperately. “We haven’t figured it out in a year -”

“Ssssh,” he interrupted, kissing you again. Your inner voice wanted to argue some more but you relaxed into his hold, thrusting your tongue into his mouth when he initiated a deeper kiss. “I’ll keep you safe.”

God, you wanted to believe him.

Nodding, you stepped back, offering him a small smile. “I know.”

At the top of the bank, Castiel appeared, looking down at you with a scowl on his face. You’d avoided him since you’d gotten hurt, your distrust of his brainwashed ideals regarding nephilim making you wary of his intentions.

“Dean,” he called. “We should keep going.”

“We’ll be right there,” Dean tossed over his shoulder, not even bothering to look. He cupped your face between his hands, smiling down at you. “Promise,” he murmured, kissing you quickly.

*****

The trees had started to thin out. Above your head, blue sky shone for miles around - the first blue sky you’d seen in decades. You were so focused on looking up, you didn’t notice the skinny trunk until you walked into it, landing on your ass.

Castiel was beside you, offering a hand and you took it, brushing yourself down at you got up. “Thanks,” you mumbled, glancing at Benny and Dean up ahead, deep in conversation. “Wasn’t paying attention.”

“You seem preoccupied by the sky,” the angel pointed out.

Rubbing your arm, you looked anywhere but him. “Yeah. Haven’t seen that shade of blue in a while.”

“I heard you talking to Dean,” he said abruptly - you stared at him, unsure what he was referring to. “We were always told you were the result of a forbidden union between an angel and a human.”

“You’d be surprised what they lied to you about,” you muttered angrily, pushing past him.

“Actually,” Cas started, looking a little sheepish, “they lied about almost everything, so why I decided to believe them on that piece of intel…” He shrugged, following you as you moved off at a slow pace. “Anyway, I should apologize for my behavior. I should have apologized sooner but Dean is… protective of you.”

A smile tugged at your lips as your gaze found the hunter up ahead. “Yeah. He is. Thank you.” You met Castiel’s eyes, your smile growing in strength. “For apologizing.”

“If I may ask,” he continued, keeping pace beside you. “Who were your parents? They only told us that your father was a low-ranking seraphim, that -”

“My father was Zelel.” His eyebrows rose at that information. “And my mother was Tzaphkiel. She was killed not long after I was born.” Castiel didn’t say anything and you kept talking, trying to cover any questions he might have. It wasn’t history you had a cause to hide, having already told Dean the majority of it. “I was a child, Castiel. That’s what makes me different. I remember losing my first tooth, riding my first bike…” You trailed off, wishing you didn’t feel so much pain when you recalled those memories.

For a moment, Castiel was quiet, then he touched your shoulder gently. “I knew your mother. She may have been one of the most compassionate beings I’d ever known.”

Tears pricked your eyes at his kind words. “Thanks, Cas.”

Up ahead, Dean and Benny had come to a stop, the latter tense as he surveyed the landscape. You and Cas caught up as the vampire turned to Dean and grinned. “We’re getting close,” he muttered.

“Really?” Dean looked around, shrugging. “I don't see crap. I mean, what the hell is this escape hatch supposed to look like?”

Castiel watched the vampire, raising an eyebrow in his direction. “He doesn't know.”

There was something in the air though, something around you that didn’t quite fit. You stared into the distance, feeling something careen down your spine as Dean spoke. “Hey, you just drug me into the fire. Please tell me you know.”

“It's here,” the vampire insisted. “They promised.”

“Oh, they? Well, that's comforting.”

The angel heaved a shrug, holding his hands out to his sides. “Well, even if it does exist…”

Benny gave him a filthy look. “Broken record, Cas.”

Cas ignored him, focusing on Dean as he spoke. “Dean, it's a human portal. There's still no proof that an angel can pass -”

Holding up a hand, Dean ground his teeth together. “Stow it, Cas. You're coming. That's final.”

“I'm just saying…” He reached out, placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder and the hunter froze, staring at him. ”...if it doesn't work... thank you for everything.”

“Save the Hallmark.” Dean shoved his hand off, sparing you a glance. “Okay? It's gonna work. Nobody gets left behind.” You weren’t expecting him to take your hand, offering you a hint of a smile. “Nobody.”

Moving on, the three of you fell into line behind Benny, letting him lead the way. Dean kept hold of your hand, curling his fingers between yours. The sun shone through the trees, shining off of the rocks, and for a second, you thought you heard birdsong.

You didn’t know how long you were walking before Castiel spoke again. “Maybe you were lied to,” he said, glancing at Benny. “Maybe there is no seam.”

Benny scoffed, shooting him a withering look. “I lie. I don't get lied to. Aren't you guys all about faith?”

Cas shrugged. “Not particularly.”

Grabbing Dean’s arm, you came to a stop, pointing at the ground. “Look.” All three men looked at where you were directing them, just a leaf was lifted from the ground by a force that definitely wasn’t the wind. It hovered for a second before bouncing off upward, circling the trees until it reached the top of a cliff at least fifty feet up. 

“Oh, ye of frigging little faith,” Benny drawled, grinning at Castiel.

Dean’s jaw dropped at the sliver of blue light shimmering at the very tip of the rocks. “What the hell?”

“There it is,” the angel muttered. “It's reacting to you.”

You stared up at the portal, your heart thundering and stomach churning. The plan Dean had devised was suddenly not sounding so clear cut but Benny was already walking toward the cliff edge, standing underneath it and gazing straight up.

“All right. Ready?”

Hanging back, you watched Dean cross to Benny’s side, pulling his blade free. “Just like we talked about.” He drew the sharp edge along his forearm and you bit your lip when his blood dripped down his arm.

“Putting a lot of trust in you, brother.” Benny’s statement was low and Dean grinned at him.

“You earned it.” The vampire winced when Dean dragged the blade over his left forearm to match Dean’s.

“I'll see you on the other side,” Benny muttered, meeting Dean’s eyes when they clasped their forearms together, the wounds meshing together.

“ _ Conjunti sumus, unum sumus _ ,” Dean grunted, both men starting to shake with the force of the magic and Benny’s entire body went rigid. His left hand started to glow with an eerie red and white light and you swore that, for a moment, the wind whipped up, stirring the debris on the ground all around you. The light consumed the vampire, appearing to dematerialize and flow right into Dean’s bloodied arm.

Dean groaned in pain, staring down at the contorted mass of flesh containing the vampire’s spirit. He tugged his sleeve down before reaching into his jacket with his right hand, fishing out a small silver flask.

“Your turn.” Holding out the flask to you, he waited, watching you carefully.

You took a breath, stepping toward him with your blade unsheathed. Dean was right in front of you as you lifted the point to your throat, your hand shaking and your hesitation clear. 

Castiel was next to you in the following second, covering your hand until you relinquished the blade. You met his eyes, nodding once and closing them - the blade slipped across your throat and you choked, the warmth you were used to suddenly fading away.

When you opened your eyes, you were dizzy, weakness replacing every other feeling. You stumbled into Cas’ hold as he covered the wound with his hand and healed it, not releasing you until he was sure you could stand.

Dean capped the flask, handing it to you. Shoving it into the pocket of your pants, you gave him a weary look before looking up at the climb awaiting you. “You okay?” Dean asked.

There wasn’t a moment to recover when Castiel slammed his hand into your ribs, pain like you’d never known radiating out from his touch. Dean cried out, lunging forward just as the angel withdrew, leaving you doubled over in agony.

“What did you do?” Dean seethed, grabbing for Cas’ throat.

“I branded her,” he replied, pushing Dean away easily. “With Enochian warding.”

The hunter stopped dead, staring at his friend for a second. “You what?”

“It’ll keep her hidden. Her grace won’t be able to heal it.”

You lifted your head, catching Dean’s hand when he offered it. He didn’t seem to have anything else to say on the angel’s actions but you did, looking right at him. “Thank you,” you whispered, trying not to cry. In truth, all you wanted to do was bawl and curl up into the fetal position but you knew you had to push through.

“I really am sorry, Y/N,” Castiel murmured quietly and you looked at him in concern, suddenly feeling like he was up to something.

“Let’s go,” Dean snapped, grasping his left arm.

It was a hard climb, made harder by the fact that you felt like you didn’t know your body. Everything was almost numb, your fingers and toes ached, which was an entirely foreign feeling. Castiel was lagging behind, despite Dean yelling ‘come on’ every five seconds.

The portal was stronger now, pulsing with energy. You grabbed for Dean’s hand and he pulled you up, just as Cas shouted for him.

Turning, something slammed into the ground, black smoke materializing into a Leviathan. It snapped its jaws and Dean panicked, holding out his blade as he looked at you. “Go. I’m right behind you.” His hand hit your shoulder and you took a step back, stumbling through the portal.

It was an odd sensation, moving between dimensions. You struggled to keep your eyes open, Dean’s name hanging on your lips in a scream and then you hit something hard, knocking the wind right out of you.

Everything was dark, save for the glow of the portal.

*****

When you opened your eyes, there were stars above you. 

You hadn’t seen stars in so long.

“Hey,” Dean murmured, looking down at you. His arms held you fast against his chest and there was a rucksack slung over one shoulder that you hadn’t seen before. “You think you can walk?”

It didn’t matter if you thought you could - nausea sent you hurtling from his arms to the floor and Dean stepped back, grimacing as you threw up blood on the dark grimy floor. When you were done, you wiped your mouth, searching your person for the flask of grace.

“Where is it?” you choked out, suddenly terrified you’d lost it coming through from Purgatory.

Dean was crouched beside you in an instant, holding out the flash. “It fell out when I picked you up.” You snatched it from his hand, suddenly doubting him, even as he stared at you with an open expression. His hand cradled your face. “You need it, right?”

Nodding, you clutched it to your chest. “Yeah.”

“I was listening,” he smiled softly, “I heard what you said.”

“I didn’t -” You didn’t want to say it but you’d never lied to him before and you didn’t want to start now.

Dean didn’t seem to want the explanation, sliding his hand from your face to your shoulder. “Come on,” he muttered, “the road is a few miles ahead. We should be able to hitch a ride.” He helped you up, gesturing to the flask. “Might wanna drain that juice box before you get sick again.”

Without hesitating, you uncapped the flask, inhaling as your grace instantly returned to where it was supposed to be. Dean, having witnessed behavior along those lines before, covered his eyes as your entire body glowed for a second, restoring your previously pristine condition.

You could still feel the itch of Castiel’s branding on your ribs, alerting you to the fact that he was nowhere to be seen.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Where’s Cas?”

*****

The motel room door opened, pulling your attention away from the television. You’d been flicking through the channels for hours, amazed at how interesting television had gotten, while Dean was dealing with the Benny situation.

You were surprised when Dean returned alone, a bag of takeout in his hand as he closed the door behind him. “I don’t know how you’re coping,” he muttered, tossing his keys onto the table and shedding his jacket, “but I’m not enjoying the people aspect of being home.”

“Is that because you don’t know how to react to them anymore?” you asked, sitting upright and turning the television off. “I nearly stabbed a maid in the face earlier when she came to give us clean towels.”

Dean smirked, shaking his head. “Pretty much.”

“Where’s Benny?”

He cringed. “We decided it was probably a better idea if we went our separate ways. He says hi. And, er, bye, I guess.”

“Oh,” you pouted, looking down at your feet, “well, it probably is for the best.”

Dean picked up the fast food again, walking over and handing it to you. “I don’t actually know what you like, so I got the bacon cheeseburger because a -” He stole a fry as you opened the bag. “Everyone loves bacon. And b - if you don’t like it, I can eat it.”

“You’re so thoughtful,” you giggled, reaching into the bag and pulling the burger out. “Sucks to be you because I do love bacon.” 

“That’s good ‘cause I gotta be honest, if you didn’t like bacon… I’m not sure this coulda worked.”

Laughing, you unwrapped the thick sandwich, taking a bite that was probably more than necessary. Thirty years had left you unable to remember the taste of anything, so that single burger was like heaven in a patty. “Oh, god,” you groaned. “So good.”

Chuckling, Dean leaned back on the bed, watching you devour the food. “We should probably head out in the morning. Find Sam. None of his numbers are working, so I’m really hoping he didn’t get himself killed.”

“Where do you think he might be?” you asked, still chewing through your words.

“Possibly Whitefish. Couple days drive. It’s my best guess until I can get hold’a someone else. No one seems to be on radar.” He stretched out, his eyes locked on you as you finished the last of the burger, licking your fingers clean. “How’s the shower?”

“Divine.” You weren’t lying - after Dean had dropped you at the motel to go and deliver Benny to his bones, you’d spent about two hours under the deliciously hot spray, washing and shaving  _ everything _ . There’d never been anyone as clean.

Dean got up, grinning. “Wanna help scrub my back?”

Barking a laugh, you shook your head. “No. You’re caked. I can’t believe you didn’t shower before -”

“Hey, I wanted the writhing spirit out of my arm. He didn’t wanna be in me any more than -” Dean paused, his cheeks darkening visibly, even through the layer of Purgatory still clinging to his skin. “I’m just gonna go…”

You barely acknowledged him, too busy snorting at his slip. When he was gone, you finished the food in the bag before grabbing a bottle of water from the mini-bar and turning the tv back on. The show playing was some sort of medieval show that seemed excessively gory.

By the time Dean came out from the shower, you were engrossed in the show.

“Wow,” he murmured, crossing the room to the queen bed, his eyes on the screen as he scrubbed his hair dry. “You found Game Of Thrones? Good show.”

“Is that what it’s called?” you asked, barely sparing him a glance. “It’s so violent.”

He hummed, dropping himself down onto the bed, his fingers sliding down your back where you were hunched forward. “You know,” he started, “you can pause television now.”

Picking up the remote, you frowned. “You can?”

“Probably not this one, it’s a cheap motel.” Sitting up, he leaned into you just as the adverts started. “You should really watch it from the beginning.” His hand slipped over your shoulder and you switched the show off, turning all of your attention to him. “We could pick up the dvds -”

“Stop showing off,” you whispered, pushing him back onto the bed and snatching his towel away. It landed on the floor with a wet thud; Dean groaned as you straddled his lap, grinding down against his erection. “I have no idea what a dee-vee-dee is.”

“What?” he defended, running his hands up your sides. “You got a lot to catch up on.”

You reached down, tugging the towel free from his hips, smirking at him when his cock sprang free. He moaned deeply as you wrapped your fingers around him, stroking him from root to tip. Your thumb caught the bead of precum leaking from his slit - you lifted the digit to your mouth, sucking it clean.

“Fuck,” Dean grunted, his hands clutching your thighs. You’d only dressed in a pair of panties and a thin shirt, courtesy of the campers Dean had stolen the rucksack from. “Take these off.”

His fingers were rough as he tugged at your clothing, eager to have your bare skin on his. You rolled your hips, pulling your panties to the side in a show of impatience. Your bare folds brushed his shaft and Dean’s eyes widened in approval.

“You shaved…”

“I figured the cave girl look was out,” you murmured. “Also, sick of hair. I need a salon, asap.”

Dean laughed, grabbing your ass with one hand, the other reaching between your legs to spread your slick pussy lips. “You’re so pretty,” he rumbled, stroking his thumb over your clit. “Wanna be inside you.”

Obliging him, you lifted up, guiding him to your soaked hole. Dean’s chin tipped up at the first touch of your heat on his sensitive head, groaning loudly when you slowly lowered down onto him. You gasped, arching your back as he filled you to the brim.

You had missed beds more than anything else.

Even if this one squeaked with every move you made.

Keeping your pace slow, you pressed your hands against Dean’s chest, biting your lip when he groped your tits, his calloused thumbs dragging back and forth over your nipples. He lurched off the bed, kissing you hard, abandoning your breasts in favor of grabbing your ass in both hands. You were crushed against him, almost bouncing in his lap as he met you thrust for thrust.

It didn’t take long for him to work it out of his system, slowing to allow you full control again. His hands held you against his chest, pinning your arms, but you didn’t mind - the closeness was only increasing your high.

You came with a whimper against his mouth, digging your nails into his chest. Dean growled, sliding one hand through your hair, the other spread out over your lower back. “Gonna cum,” he warned and you responded with a kiss.

His climax was accompanied by a low moan that vibrated against your lips. You smiled, wiggling one arm free to cup his cheek, not caring about the sweat or the stubble that grazed your palm.

Finally coming to a stop, you held yourself over him, leaning in to share lazy kisses. Eventually, he shifted, lifting you off of his lap and using the wet towel to clean up. You collapsed beside him, waiting until he raised his arm and pulled you into his chest.

“What happens when we find Sam?” you asked, running your fingertips down his chest.

Dean smirked, brushing hair outta your eyes. “I’ll figure that out when we find him.”


End file.
